Monday, April 4

How head-butting and farting = I love you!

Playing Rough Lesson #1: When wielding a stick, never close your eyes. 

 For mom's raising hairy hooligans like my trio of boys, I discovered something encouraging!
And wanted to share! 

One of the books I'm reading to better understand my three brutish beasties (Wild Things, The Art of Nuturing Boys) planted this idea in my head.
Boys, especially young ones, show AFFECTION through aggression. Interesting idea! Why hadn't I thought of that already! So I sat pondering my own lovelies... If it's true! Dang! These boys must love me a lot! Heck! They love EVERYBODY a lot! Hot dog! We've got head-butting, nazi-nuzzling, grabbing, punching, wrestling, butt slapping, poking, licking, farting, biting (Jonas is a bit of a nibbler)! It's all here! 

Then the thought came to me, can I show MY affection by roughing them up?

I needed to test it out. Jonas was in bed with me reading, so I reached over and gave him a good shove followed by a head butt to the stomach. In return? I received sparkling eyes, toothy grin, the best giggle all accompanied by a look that begged, "Do it agian! I'm ready." So I tickled and poked and made farting noises on his face. It was the best! And Jonas seemed very content! Being convinced that there was definitely some truth to this, I went back to reading, Jonas did too. Then he nuzzled me with his head and gave me a, "Love you, mom." Okay! Total proof! My boys need roughed up, as much as they need cuddled, hugged, and kissed. Interesting!

So, I've become a little more sensitive to the love language of these little boys. Trying to recognize a head butt and a nibble as an "I love you." Trying to demonstrate my own love a little more aggressively. A shove here. A bump on the rear there. A well received fart. Roughing up hair. Shaking a giggling baby. Learning to love with aggression and meet the boys where they are. Hoping it will communicate, "I care about you and who you are."

Hoping this encourages the rest of you mothers of hairy hooligans, too.
Here's to raising boys who become men, friends!!! 

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